How To Say No Without Feeling Guilty
You’re already overloaded and someone has the audacity to ask you to do more? What?!
Whether your first reaction is to kick them in the shins or to just say yes and complain about it later, today we are talking about how to say no without feeling like a jerk. So let’s roll.
We sometimes forget that we only have 24 hours in a day. We think we can take on so many more things, but when we say yes to anything and everything that comes across our plate, we are actually doing a huge disservice to the people who matter most to us. Or, the people we’ve made certain commitments to.
No one can decide for you what you have time for. A lot of times people will ask us if we have time to take on a certain project and that is our opportunity. Today were talking about four reasons why people tend to say yes when the really mean no I’m also going to give you some magic words that you can use so you can say no without feeling like a jerk.
Four Reasons People Say YES When They Mean NO!
First there are the guilty. They just can’t handle the thought of possibly saying no to someone or a project because they feel like it’s their responsibility and they will just feel too guilty to say no.
The second reason why people have a hard time saying no is because they are ego-driven. We think we are the only ones who can handle it and no one can do it better than we can.
Then we have the people pleasers. They just want to be friends with everyone and it will break their hearts if it feels like someone might be disappointed.
And finally, we have the boundary-less. They just are not aware of what their current priorities are and how much time they actually have. So they say yes because they don’t really know what else to say.
How to Know How Much Time You Have
So in order to make sure you’re saying yes to the right things and no to the right things, first means we have to have our priorities in order. We need to know what’s most important to us. We also need to know how much time we have available. We all have 24 hours in a day, and at least 6 to 8 of those should be sleeping. So to find out how much time you actually have available, time block your day. Start with the time you wake up in the morning until that time you go to bed and to schedule out the things that you do during the day.
Start by scheduling the things that give you more energy, that build you up and make you feel like a better person. And once you have time blocked your day with your most important priorities, then you’ll know what you have for in the rest of your schedule.
Look, our time is our most important resource. When it’s gone, it’s gone. We can’t make it up and we can generate more time. So understanding how were using our time, and what we have available is really really important.
So before I give you the magic words to help you say no without feeling like a jerk, I’m going to give you one more boniest. And that is, from this day forward, you will never again take on a project or something that just drains you. You know those things that you just have this huge sense of dread every time you think about how you have to accomplish this thing, you have to go work on it. No more of those projects.
Instead, we are going to dive into finding more of what your strengths are, more of who you were created to be, and only add in projects that allow you to use your strengths and your gifts.
The Magic Words
Alright now it is time for the magic words are you ready for them? Get ready to write these down. I learned views from the one and only, Miss Chalene Johnson.
“Thank you so much for thinking of me for that project. I really appreciate it. Let me check my schedule and I’ll get back to you.”
That’s brilliant! It’s so simple but it’s brilliant because it allows you to just take a minute and go back and figure out what you actually have time for and Can I really say yes to this or not? Now obviously you need to decide if that something you want to take on and then you have to get back to them with your answer. But when you take a minute, then you’re able to come up with a really logical conclusion as to whether or not you should take on that project. And, you can give them an answer that you’re really clear about. It allows you to respond logically instead of making an emotional decision or instead of just saying yes because you’re not sure what else to say.
When you consistently stick with your priorities and look at your schedule before saying yes, you’re going to find that you’re saying no to a lot more things and you’re going to feel really great about it.
Alright, now it’s your turn. I’d love to hear how you say no so you don’t feel like a jerk. So comment below and tell us your best tips for deciding what you’re going to put on your plate and how you’re going to say no to those things that just don’t fit.
One more thing…
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