Pacifier, Nuk, Binky, Whatever you call it.
Is there anything sweeter than a sleeping baby? They are so innocent and beautiful. …and the pacifier makes that happen! Pacifiers help babies sleep and research is showing more benefits to the pacifier. I know that not all parents agree, and you’re welcome to your opinion on that topic. In our house, babies use pacifiers. Did you catch that? BABIES use pacifiers. So when is it time to give it up? And how to you let go of the precious bedtime friend? We are now pacifier free and loving it! Here’s our take on the topic.
What’s your Attitude?
As a new mom, I thought I would try to go without a pacifier. Bret agreed. Maybe if our new baby just didn’t get one, he wouldn’t need it. That lasted a few hours into his first night in the hospital. Here’s how it went down… He was crying. I fed him AGAIN. He zonked out after the first suck. I immediately understood the value of the pacifier. I plopped that thing in his mouth and didn’t look back.
The pacifier helps with sleep, but it is not a babysitter or a cry-stopper in our house. It is just for bedtime. It’s not a reward or a crutch. It’s just a pacifier, and it’s just for bedtime. We don’t give pacifiers cute names. It’s not a friend or a toy. It’s just a pacifier, and it’s just for bedtime. By about 6-9 months, we start building that spirit into our kids. When they wake up from a nap, we make a game out of plopping the pacifier right back into bed. Every. Time. They learn that it’s just for bedtime and it’s really not an issue during the day.
We are free!
We made the big leap toward freedom when the kids were each around 18-20 months old and completely eliminated the pacifier. Here’s how we did it:
- The lead in. One to two weeks before we pull the plug, we give them a heads up. “Did you know that pacifiers are just for babies? You’re getting to be a big boy/girl, so pretty soon you won’t need a pacifier anymore.” At this age, their ability to communicate varies. You might not understand them, but they understand you. Don’t underestimate that. We don’t make this conversation a big deal. We just plant the seed and move on.
- Be committed. Once we start, we DO NOT go back. Bret and I talk about it to make sure we’re both ready. We clear our schedules because we don’t know how this is going to go down. Those little kiddos can pack a punch and parents need to stand strong and stand together. Backward progress is the enemy and it hurts you and your child so be committed. Fully prepared, we grab our scissors.
- Snip it. We cut a small piece off the tip of the pacifier. EVERY pacifier. We do our inventory to make sure there aren’t any stragglers. We cut the tip all the way off so that there isn’t a dangling piece for them to choke on, but the pacifier doesn’t suck the same. With hearts racing and palms sweating, it’s time for bed.
- Play it cool. It’s bedtime as usual. These little kiddos can also sniff out danger, so we do our best to stay cool, calm, and collected. When it’s time for the pacifier, we hand it to them as usual. Then there’s the confused face. We acknowledge that it’s broken and that it’s a bummer, and we move quickly on to the next part of the bedtime routine.
- Pray. We know that God is the true giver of comfort. The pacifier is just a tool that he uses. We ask God to give comfort. It’s not that we don’t want our kids to be happy or that we want to steal their joy/peace. We just need them to transition out of the pacifier. God has the power to do all things. He can surely handle the pacifier. But he wants us to talk with him about it.
- Goodnight. That’s it. We put them to bed as usual. Off goes the light. Then we race up to the baby monitor to watch them try to figure it out. There’s restlessness a few tears. That’s to be expected. We stay strong and let them work it because backward progress is the enemy. It hurts you and your child. We know that God is with them and can do way more to comfort them than we can. Reactions are different. Aiden threw his pacifiers out of the crib and fell asleep without them. Jayda stayed strong and sucked on her non-working pacifier all night. The first night was the only night that they were upset and it was just for a short time while they fell asleep.
- They decide. Even at a young age, kids value the ability to decide and control their world. #duh Both of our kids were involved in the final goodbye. After Aiden went all night with no pacifier (because he threw them over-board), we went in his room the next morning and praised him for going all night without it! “You don’t even need your pacifier anymore, do you want to just throw it in the garbage?” And he did. Since Jayda kept hers the first night, the second night was her first night without it. She grabbed her pacifier and sat down to read a story. It fell out of her mouth, and that was my in… “Oh, that’s a bummer that your pacifier is broken. Should we just throw it in the garbage?” To which she replied, “yeah.” She threw it away and we moved on to story time. (my heart starts racing and my palms start sweating but I play it cool). She went to bed and we didn’t hear a peep.
- Praise them. This is a big deal! Once they’ve gone their first night without it, we let them know that we’re proud of them. It doesn’t have to be a giant party with things, food, and STUFF. They just need to know that they did a good job, you’re proud, and you love them. Then move on, pacifier-free.
There are a lot of opinions about pacifiers, whether they are good or bad, how long kids should have them, how to use them, when to give them up, yada yada. This is just another opinion from another mom who is pacifier free and loving it!